yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
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