just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
so, I mean this in the straightest way possible, but don't you ever just feel like you owe Jon Stewart a blowjob...
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
A homeless guy wouldnt accept my granola bar because he didnt have any teeth. I think i win the prize for the ultimate rejection
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize
