i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
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