if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
It's been two dates and she just invited me to her aunts funeral. I can't even. Who the fuck does that? I need to drink I'm coming to get you in 5
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
Randomize
