Midget sex pt 2 tonight
you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
The thing about being single is like Sunday morning sex is nice but so is Sunday morning eating Nutella from the jar in your underwear
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
Randomize
