OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
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