I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
Hello my rib-scented angel!
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
Randomize
