i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
If she catches me sniffing the seat of her office chair again, she's either going to fire me or fuck me
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
Randomize
