At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
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