get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
Fyi: he's overweight and balding. My biological clock is ticking so loud I can't hear the TV.
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
The waitress asked if you wanted white or brown, and you said "Isn't it all the same color when it's toasted?". She stared at you for about 20 seconds before she decided that you weren't fucking with her.
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
One day I'm gonna have to send my roommate a "sorry I got high and forgot you were in the room and masturbated next to you" fruit basket
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
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