I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
When I told her I was deaf and took my hearing aids out at night to sleep, she said it must be nice not having to hear drunken roommates having awkward sex late at night.
THERE ARE LEGITLY 4 SEPARATE BITE MARKS ON MY DICK. WHAT. THE. FUCK.
Legitimately*
Go fuck yourself
Randomize
