its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
Wedding cake is always the best dance partner. In the corner. With a jack and coke. And while I'm crying. Listening to "Almost Paradise".
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
Randomize
