BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
Randomize
