hell yes lets make some ravioli
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
Trouble in the neighborhood - turns out my brother's summer lawn care gig also entailed banging three different MILFs and they just all found out about each other
Gotta pay for college somehow...
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Randomize