More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
I will come over now to take full advantage of you in your vulnerable state.
Fine. I should warn you I just threw up in danas fish tank. Fish are dead. Livers dead. I smell and look like a dead animal. And not showering. So deal with it.
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
I’ll call you in a minute. Trying to book an AirBnB so I can finally bang the yummy guy from yoga
Your downward dog is going to rock his cock. I’m jealous
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