You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
i lost my phone in the process of getting a condom out of my hair
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
Randomize
