So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
Randomize
