And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
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