You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
The shower rod just came down while I was pooping. I caught it though and the curtain stayed on, so I'm not sure if it's a good or bad omen for the rest of my day
Randomize
