he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
Randomize
