fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
every time i drive by the road she lives on, i scream in the car "i'm sorry i'm sleeping with your boyfriend!" makes me feel less whore-y.
can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
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