he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
I love you.
Bad choice
Randomize
