She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
