There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
Top reasons to NOT leave jessica to her own devices : 1. Drinking becomes a competitive sport ( in which she is the only one competing) 2.big girl words= no worky 3. Whiskey refuses to be a good friend (as much as she insists ). 4. Waking up at six a.m. still in her swim suit is super awkward. 5. It isn't a fun game to figure out which person she gave her number to and 6. Yesterdays eyeliner doesn't look good today.
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
Randomize
