That blackeyed peas song was on, so I thought that was prediciting tonight was going to be a good night. And then my garage door opner fell and hit me in the head.
I literally just copy and pasted that from another bbm convo bc I'm far too stoned to explain that again.
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
Just remembered seeing jalepenos in my vomit last night. Reminded me to thank you for sharing your queso with me. You're a good friend.
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
Randomize
