I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
He just texted me from the outside of the hospital. He called the fat broad in the bar mrs snuffleupagus about 60 times and she broke a bottle of blackberry brandy over his head.
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
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