It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
when I was too drunk to walk on my own two feet, he stole a shopping cart from the grocery store at the corner and proceeded to wheel me back to my apartment.
Then he tucked me in, gave me a goodnight kiss and slept on my sofa. I woke up this morning and he was making waffles.
he is a god among men.
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Randomize
