It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
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