You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
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