You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
Why are all the lights on in my house? Every single one. Someone should turn them off but I'm the only one here and I'm sure as hell not doin it.
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
It's 1 AM and there's a guy outside my house belting out Bennie and The Jets. He stops in between verses to puke. I'm joining him.
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
Randomize
