Fuck u you updated twitter but didn't answer my text
I know you're alive
I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
It looked like Halloween in bed... BECAUSE HE BIT MY PUSSY AND I BLED ALL OVER THE FUCKING PLACE. THEN HE FELL AND BROKE HIS TOE. AND THEN PASSED OUT WHEN HE SAW ALL OF THE BLOOD.
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
Randomize
