What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
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