There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
bringing my vibrator into the shower with me. if I don't text back in 30 minutes I have electrocuted myself and died.
May the force be with you.
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
Randomize
