In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
worst night to have a conscience
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
Randomize
