Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
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