The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
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