apparently i'm not the first person wake up and realize she's ugly cuz i tore this house apart and there is no sign of my clothes
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
woke up next to the new dishwasher. set the record for banging a new employee to 6 hours...i should be a professional sexual predator
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
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