we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
What should've been a 10 minute beer run turned into her having a 40 minute mental breakdown in my car while in the parking lot. She then asked if she could live at my house and be my girlfriend. Her finishing act was stealing my peanut m&m's.
Well, when a girl introduces herself as "stormy" and gets your number from her boyfriends phone, I'd say that your situation is to be expected.
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
Randomize
