They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
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