I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
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