It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
I stole a fireplace last night.
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
The cat was building a spaceship out of the carpet, my legs were cans of tomato sauce, and there was something else in that pot you gave me.
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
The ass gains better be worth it
Randomize
