If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
Note to self: don't tell your girlfriends dad you can have his daughter in bed by ten and home by midnight. He doesnt find it funny
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
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