Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
Um...It has come to my attention that I may have said some rather vulgar things about Sean Connery to you and anyone listening last night, so...I apologize for that. I meant the things I said. But still. Sorry.
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
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