Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
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