also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
Randomize
