i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
I just got this text "hi this is Julie, I met you last night in the bathroom. You asked me to text you and remind you that you ate an entire lime, because you figured your sober self in the morning would be confused."
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
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