I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
if your phone is working sorry i called you at 2am. if it is not then i never called your phone at 2am
shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
Randomize
