I was looking through my facebook friends list to see how many ppl on the list i've hooked up with, and was effectively reminded of my failed friendships, relationships, fuck budy-ships, friends with benefits, and "i cant remember if i ever did shit with him but we're awkward now" ships.
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
I told the cop it was my birthday and he said "happy fuckin birthday", handcuffed me and threw me in the back of the cop car.
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
Dick very happy bro
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
