She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
Can I color on your dick again?
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
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