I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
The lady at target couldn't scan my grocery item and just looked at me and said "just take it. I hate this fucking place". Best munchie adventure yet.
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
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