ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
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Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
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