Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
Randomize
