I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
My friend Julia's mom just called her to say she got a puzzle in the mail made of cheese and when she put it together it spelled FUCK YOU and she doesn't know who it's from.
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
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