if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
Randomize