Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
You just made me feel so damn special
I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
haha omg you stole $185 from a passed out drunk indian on your porch and called the ambulance??
savin' lives aint cheap
U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
Randomize
