What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
Randomize
