butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
Randomize
