Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
My day in three words: secret purse cake
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
Randomize
