I cockslap morals
Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
Randomize