South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
You were right. It hurts to walk today.
Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
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