Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
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She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
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Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot