I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
21 Of The Most Regrettable Tattoo Ideas Ever
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
I just watched my mom open a wine bottle with an electric drill. I have never been so proud.
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
These 25 People Had Very Inappropriate Sexual Relations(hips)
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.