I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
Randomize
