Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
The only way I made it through work was reminding myself how many margaritas per hour I was making
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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