dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
I had to warn the neighbors
Warn them about what?! It's noon
"Pay no attention to me if at random points of the day I'm outside with kitty cat ears on" I'm a mess...
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
Randomize
