Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
It's really funny to see the look on the sales lady's face when she asks why you're replacing a painting. "I knocked it off the wall during sex w/ my heels," wasn't what she expected.
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
Randomize
