PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
i would punch a child for taco bell
A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
Randomize
